Archive for September, 2008
Can Masturbation Can Teach You How To Make Love To A Woman
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008 | Relationships | No Comments
Most men and a lot of woman these days masturbate for sexual pleasure. These days there is a lot less taboos against masturbation. However, how many books have you seen lately about sex compared to any books about masturbation? And how often have you talked to your friends about masturbation?
Most teens tend to masturbate every day. Generally, they take 5 minutes or so and use high friction strokes. Most teenagers have some embarrassment about masturbation. They do not want their parents to find out about his aspect of their sexuality.
So they make no sounds of pleasure and hide the activity away. Usually there is some fantasy involved and very little connection to their emotions and heart. Unfortunately, the teen gets in a habitual habit of having an orgasm quickly.
I personally know all of the above because it is my own experience too.
Now, when the teen makes love for the first time, he continues the habits he has taught his body over hundreds of masturbation sessions. He comes in a few minutes, he had closed eyes, he uses high friction porn style of lovemaking and he makes no sounds at all. Unfortunately these habits persist as he gets older.
Sex survey after Survey shows that the average time of intercourse for men is about 7 minutes. The funny thing is that this figure is pretty much the same in every country surveyed form the USA, India to France.
Unfortunately, most women hate this style of lovemaking. I attended a Tantra workshop the other day and 20 women were asked to describe what type of lovemaking they enjoyed the most and 18 out of 20 described a style of slow, connected and deep.
Compare that style of lovemaking to the usual porn. Clearly, if a man comes in 7 minutes, most women are gong to feel unsatisfied. A boring, short sex life is one of the main reasons women have affairs.
As a sexologist, I talk to men about their sex life. One thing I like to ask is do they like their lovers to make sounds of pleasure and express the orgasmic energy by their voice. Just about every one says they love their lovers to be vocal and hate silent women as lovers.
I then ask them if they make sounds. If they do not, I say, why the F not and why they want something from their lover that they do not do themselves.
Usually, this early wanking practice taught them not to make sounds and they continued this practice to date. It can be a real challenge to break this pattern.
Another aspect that can be difficult for men to relearn is about emotional connection. Women love a man that connects with his eyes and they can feel his heart and love.
Now, most of us do not masturbate in front of a mirror with thoughts of self love. However, this practice could be of value. How about masturbating with an attitude of loving oneself instead of a porn type fantasy?
Another thing that women love is that a man is present. This means that the man is not in his head in a fantasy or being goal focused. Most women are very sensitive and can pick up on this straight away. So being present really just means being in your body, its pleasure and energy. When men do this, the women can feel the man more and this allows them to let go more.
Tantra looks at partner connection and being totally open. These skills can take time to learn as we are taught to be closed emotionally.
I hope you enjoyed these tips on how masturbation can transform your sex life.
Maurice Tate is a qualified sexologist trained at the Advanced Institute of Sexology. For more on this topioc visit masterbation techniques and tips and male and female masterbation.
How To Have Sexy And HOT Phone Sex
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008 | Relationships | No Comments
Your lover is away and you want to try phone sex to keep the sexual tension high and the relationship sexy. Phone sex and dirty talking can be a real turn on and it can be very erotic. The following is some tips to make your next phone sex session very sexy.
The first tip is to make sure you will have at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted time. Turn of the mobile phone and lock the door!
The second tip for some great phone sex is to describe everything in a lot of detail. Talk about all the senses, so include the smells, the sensations of touch and your feelings. The more vivid you make it the more your lover will feel it in their body.
For example, if you are describing a fantasy of being on a beach, describe the sounds of the surf and the sea gulls squawking. Describe the sand molding to your body and the heat of the sun on your naked body and how this is turning you on.
As you are not present with your lover, you need to be more erotic and hotter than usual. Describe some fantasies that you would never try in real life.
So be naughty and wild and you can’t go wrong.
Dirty talking phases can be used to really hot up the session. See my free newsletter for more explicit dirty talking phases. Tell your partner exactly what you are doing in a lot of detail. Introduce more graphic words as the energy hots up.
Tune into what your partner is saying and how they are breathing. You can tell how aroused they are just by listening. Make sure you tell your partner how turned on you are by making erotic sounds of pleasure. So really enjoy yourself and let your lover know this by your sounds and energy.
Phone sex can be a great way to stay close even though your lover is hundreds of miles away.
Maurice Tate is a qualified sexologist trained at the Advanced Institute of Sexology. To improve your lovemaking go to learn to flirt and to really prepare your lover for hos sex, see foreplay ideas and positions.
Great sex is your birthright!
Erotic and Sensual Massage Tips For Men
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008 | Relationships | No Comments
Most men I know never spend much time massaging the vulva and do not know how to touch the G spot. For most women, a vulva massage is very erotic and many can have very deep experiences and even sexual healing from a good vulva massage.
The following has some tips on vulva massage. Most men touch much much to fast, so slow down and really feel the great sensations under your hands and fingers.
Massage the whole body first with long and slow strokes. I love to massage the breasts and do not forget the finges and toes.
Try blowing slowly up the body and over the genitals but do not blow in the vulva.
Take your time on the whole body massage before going near the genital area. 30 minutes is great.
When your partner is very aroused ask if you can massage her vulva or a nice word is magic garden or yoni. Very very slowly slide in a lubricated finger and curl it upward to feel for a ridged area in her vulva.
Ask her how she wants this spot to be touched. Make eye contact to support her from your heart. I suggest you take a lot of time from 30 minutes or longer to touch this area with no agenda.
If she has a series or orgasms let her rest for a while with no stimulation and then ask if she wants more pleasure. She might move her hips to indicate this to you without you needing to ask.
Combining g spot touching with clit touching and alternating or both at once can be amazing for most women. I like to have one finger on the G stop and one curled to touch the clit.
Start with slow stimulation and them follow her energy and build up the intensity. Sometime some women like a finger on or in the anus for more pleasure in the sensual massage. The pleasure can get so intense that the women does not know what you are touching!!!
Deep emotions can be released during the erotic massage. Sometimes they can be directed at you. Just be present, in your heart energy and non reactive.
G stop stimulation can lead on to female ejaculation. Many women get an urge to urinate when they are very aroused by G spot stimulation in the yoni or vulva.
They resist this urge and block the ejaculation response. Sometimes they can get ejaculation responses going down their legs. Men can give negative feedback about their woman’s body fluids too. The ejaculation fluid can be cups for some women and has been tested in laboratories and the composition is not urine.
I have more in erotic massage and vulva massage.
If my lover wets the bed I ask to lie on it for the night. Taoist teaching say the the fluids are sacred and very good for your skin. Use safe sex guidelines if needed.
Maurice Tate is a qualified sexologist and he takes individuals and couples to deep orgasmic places.
Top 5 Steps to Saving Your Marriage After an Affair - For the Partner That Did the Cheating
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008 | Relationships | No Comments
Being Unfaithful is not the number one reason for divorce, but it runs a close second. The dynamics of being unfaithful and the reason that a partner cheats are rather easy to understand but ever-so-difficult to get past. Generally speaking, upon average, a spouse doesn’t plan to cheat or premeditate being unfaithful; it’s usually something that “just happens” due to conditions within the marriage that weakened his or her resistance to persuasion.
When a couple is having marriage problems and don’t work to get past those challenges, this leads to a layering effect; one challenge leads to another and then another and before you know it, you have layer upon layer of problems that seem too deep to ever dig through. This leads to an unhappy marriage and an gloomy marriage leads to unfaithfulness. I’m not saying that all couples with marriage challenges will have infidelity issues to deal with; I’m simply saying it makes it easier for the cheating spouse to validate his or her actions. To comprehend this complex issue you might check out “The Anatomy of An Affair” which will explain in detail the hows and why’s of being unfaithful.
If you cheated, chances are you are feeling plenty guilty, and by right, you should. But there is anticipation to save your marriage even after cheating on your partner; the course of action isn’t easy and may take a long time to get past, but if you are stern about saving your marriage, you can do it. The following are five steps you can take to put your marriage back on track and get past the issue of infidelity.
Admittance
Chances are as soon as the sex is over you will be hit with an amazing weight of guilt; this is the time to deal with your demons. The longer you wait, the longer you have to justify your actions. Also, the longer you linger and your spouse doesn’t find out, it will make it easier for you to deceive again. Admitting your responsibility to yourself and to your spouse is the first step towards saving your marriage.
Make No Excuses
Make an apology but do not give justifications for your actions. No matter how bad your marriage is, there is no justification for unfaithfulness. Even if your partner was unfaithful in the past; this does not make it ok for you to be unfaithful. Trying to rationalize your being unfaithful is the same as blaming your partner for your fault.
Talk
You and your spouse must talk about your relationship challenges and if need be, seek marriage help. You can do this by going to a marriage counselor or by working together, as a couple, to try to save your marriage together. If you are unsure and don’t know where to start at this spot, you might want to read, “Save My Marriage Today” for some very useful tips and leadership to get you through this tricky time in your marriage.
Rebuild Confidence
Trust is given freely until it is betrayed; after that you have to earn it back. This will be the most difficult part of the course as people are very slow to ever have confidence again once they’ve been hurt by infidelity. You can expect your spouse to have continuing uncertainties and doubts and it may take months or even years to totally get their trust back. Remember, you are the one who broke the trust and you are the one who has to resolve it. You can’t get offended if your partner has continued trust issues; be thankful that he or she didn’t send you packing and is willing to work this out.
Keep Working
You can put up a strong, enduring marriage again but it will take time and dedication. There are plenty of ways you can demonstrate your devotion to the marriage and your willingness to make it work. If you wish to make a difference in your marriage and build it even stronger than it was before, you can read “The Magic of Making Up” to give you new found optimism in even the most hopeless situations.
Unfaithfulness doesn’t have to end your marriage if you are willing to work to save your marriage. It’s a promise you have to make, not only to your partner, but to yourself. You will have to rebuild the foundation of your marriage and then continually keep rebuilding the structure, but if you are determined and tolerant, you can have a tougher, more loving marriage then what you had before.
How to Fix a Troubled Marriage
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008 | Relationships | No Comments
Even in the best marriage a couple will in the end come across a unstable time in their lives. It is only natural when two people spend every day of their lives together there will be disagreements. The secret to beating those marriage challenges is how you handle the turbulence when you first enter into it.
Differences, if managed properly, can be healthy for a marriage as it gives you each time to calculate the problem and then work together to resolve it. But unfortunately what happens in too many marriages is couples just tolerate the difference to blow over without ever discussing the challenges. Many times this happens because couples just don’t know how to talk about the subject. If you’ve been in this situation, you can check out “The Magic of Making Up” to give you some quality ideas about how to fix your relationship challenges in a healthy manner.
Minor differences, left unattended, can snowball into an avalanche; it’s important to fix the trouble right now and don’t just let it blow over. If you have a tire that has a slow leak, you can keep putting air in the tire, but that doesn’t solve the issue. You have to find where the leak is and patch it. To save your marriage, the same analogy applies.
A problem marriage is solvable as long as both of you accept that there are challenges and are willing to work together to fix these problems. If only one spouse recognizes the problems and the other one doesn’t, the relationship challenges will only worsen.
Maybe you have tried to discuss things with your spouse and attempted to work on the troubles, but your spouse is having trouble accepting that there really is a challenge; this can be very annoying and leave you feeling helpless. There are explanations at your fingertips; you might want to check out, “Save My Marriage Today” to give you some great ideas on how to get your spouse to react in a positive way to work together to get past your relationship challenges.
Marriage is supposed to be about supporting one another and soothing each other; if your spouse has been left with a broken heart, fixing that heart can take time and tolerance on your end. You have to let him or her know that you are all set to do anything you have to do to help them get past it. And if you are the spouse with the broken heart, once your heart is mended, don’t allow something in the future to reopen the injury. Once you get past a challenge, let it die and bury it forever. Nothing positive has ever come from digging up old bones; you have to move on and away from the past.
You may feel you have the best marriage, but even that marriage can be at risk if relationship problems aren’t correctly dealt with. You don’t have to permit trivial differences or even important differences from ruining your marriage; you have the power to save your marriage if you know how to handle it. If you are having one of those unsteady times in your marriage and are looking for answers about how to save your marriage, you might want to check out, “Mastery Guide to Saving Your Marriage & Stopping Your Divorce” to give you some very perceptive information and help you to find the answers you’ve been looking for.
Getting Your Ex back - Follow These Steps
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008 | Relationships | No Comments
There are all kinds of tricks and deceptions to get your Ex back, but many people want to do it the right way. No games, no lies and certainly no other foolish moves. There are correct steps and the best way of knowing how to get your ex back without making a fool out of yourself. This article was written for those who still love their ex spouse and want them back, but also want to make sure they do it the correct way and avoid painful mistakes.
One of the best ways to win love back is to fix the problems that caused the two of you to split in the first place. There was something obviously problematic and was enough of a trouble that caused her/him to throw in the towel. For some reason the issues this relationship has were not taked care of during the relationship period , and if you really want a second go at this, now is the time to make this happen. Speak with your Ex and try getting them to tell you their feelings and thoughts about the relationship. Without this knowledge the chances of a healthy relationship is slim to none. Listen to your partner and hear what they are saying, do your best to change the issues for a more positive relationship.
Spend time together and fall in love again. Some times people get so caught up in work, friends and other obligations that they forget to spend quality time with their partner. This can cause the relationship to drift and eventually the couple looks up and they no longer have anything in common. It is very important to find that common ground once again. It won’t be easy and both parties must commit to the process, but it’s doable and is done every day! If it doesn’t come immediately keep trying, don’t give up, because if you quit all will be lost. People walk away too fast today; divorce and ending relationships are a quick fix that leaves everyone hurting. The best way to deal with this is to accept the fact and speak that a divorce or separation is not even a choice. Because in many cases people explore their options and take the easiest one available, so if it is not a choice it provides a better chance for relationship survival.
Take some time for yourself to regroup, and remember that this is not a race, but a process that takes time. If did not go bad in one day and it will not come back to the way it was before in just one day, either. Try not to rush the emotions as this will cause resentment in the long run. By giving yourself a breather and not expecting too much from the relationship it allows the couple to bond again without pressure. Knowing how to get your Ex back the right way is not always easy, but by allowing your self the time to fall in love all over again will allow a refreshed look on love.
Another factor that must be considered is whether or not that there is still love between the two of you. If both of you fell out of love, or worse, just one of you, than it will by much more difficult to revive the relationship, but the truth is that in most cases lack of love is not the issue. Because they are mad or hurt by their partner they have distanced themselves, therefore causing a break of the closeness. This doesn’t mean that they do not love one another, rather that the bond needs to be reinstated.
This is possible and the couple needs to work together to bring this bond to the surface once again. Think about it this way, you were not in love when you met. Love is not an instant emotion so it took some work on both of your parts. Simply follow the same steps that you did in the beginning, when you fell in love once before. Now you can do it again.
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Ron Weber is a dating expert. You can find his experiences posted at the getting your ex back website. Just follow along as he posts his thoughts about the subject, and learn how to apply them to your life. |
How To Find and Give A Huge G Spot Orgasms WIth Techniques.
Monday, September 29th, 2008 | Relationships | No Comments
Women love a man when they know how to do the G Spot Orgasm Technique. It is very simple to learn. I find in amazing that many men do not know how to stimulate the g spot. It is easy to learn.
G Spot explanation
The G spot is located within the front wall of the vagina It is usually located half and inch from the entrance. In my experience can vary with differing women. Many women can have intense orgasmic experiences from g spot stimulation. Some might need to wee before stimulation as massaging this area can cause them to want to go.
Locating the G spot | finding the G Spot
Make sure your women is aroused. Now to locate the g spot. Slowly slide your finger into the vulva and curl upwards. Use lubrication if needed. The g spot will feel slightly ridged in most women. It is usually one half of one inch inside the vulva in the upwards position on the wall.
Add your comment about the g spot at the bottom of this page.
Hitting the g spot and stimulating the g spot
Now for the g spot orgasm technique. Pressure the g spot with your finger in different ways. Ask her what she likes. Use a come here motion and try side to side motions. Try hitting the g spot with light taps. When your women is very aroused the pressure on the g spot can re quite strong. Also alternate some stimulation on the clitoris. See clitoris massage. However do not focus on your partner having a clitoris orgasm but on stimulating her for something much deeper. Ask her what she likes!
Continue stimulation for up to 30 minutes or even 1 hour. I have gone on for hours. Touch her breasts and tell her how beautiful she is.
G Spot orgasms
These types of g spot orgasms are much deeper than clitoris orgasms. She can have 3 waves of intense g spot orgasms over a 1 hour session.
One can use the penis to hit the g spot in certain tantric sex positions. Usually this is doggy style where the penis angles up more than the missionary position.
Deep Spot
Some women are more sensitive in the areas around the cervix than the g spot. Explore the vulva and see what she likes. Usually above the cervix is a very sensitive area.
Some women do not like G spot stimulation. At times healing needs too occur in this area as it can hold emotions from the past. Many women have never been touched with total presence.
Female Sex toys can be a good way of stimulating the g spot area.
Have Fun exploring this very erotic area.
Maurice Tate is a qualifed sexologist and he helps couples and women explore deeper aspects of their sexuality.
How To Do Self Prostate Massage For Prostate Orgasms
Monday, September 29th, 2008 | Relationships | No Comments
Most men do not realize that they can have intense pleasurable experiences from self prostate massage leading to prostate orgasms. Generally, from my own personal experience, these types of orgasms are more intense, pleasurable and body shaking as compared to the normal ejaculation orgasms.
However it is a shame that most men carry some fears about anal touch and prostate stimulation. Many men seem to feel that they will become gay if they enjoy this type of stimulation. In fact, the anus has as many nerve endings as the head of the penis and it seems a great pity not to really explore this erotic potential of this part of a mans body.
Discovering the sexual potential of self prostate massage and stimulation can lead to a fuller development of mans sexuality and orgasmic power. One can learn to have prostate orgasms that go on for ages and that do not lead to ejaculation.
Many men also have a lot of tension in the anal area. Some men are very tight in the anus. This can lead to anal problems like constipation. Anal massage seems to also help in prostate problems.
The prostate is on the upper surface of the anus abut 1.5 to 2 inches in and you will tell when it is being touched by the intense sensation!
The good news is that you can explore self prostate massage orgasms and anal massage by yourself. The following are some general tips and you will learn from my site below, more explicit instructions.
- Having a bath before anal stimulation is a way of overcoming the clean issue.
- Try massaging the prostate externally from the perineum
- One can use vinyl gloves when massaging this area
- Lubrication is very important.
- Relaxation is a big key to discover pleasure in this area.
- Different size anal butt plugs are useful to relax the anus.
For more information on male sex toys visit Adult Sex Toy Information.
If you are with a lover, it is important you not to use anything that has touched the anus in a womans vulva area as this could cause infections. Also, follow safe sex guide lines for prostate and anal play.
Great sex is your birthright!
Maurice Tate is a qualified sexologist trained at the Advanced Institute of Sexology. To improve your lovemaking and to really explore your sexuality which is a lot easier than you think, visit Sexual Ecstasy in 14 Days
You Too Can Have Hot, Passionate Sex Starting Tonight
Monday, September 29th, 2008 | Relationships | No Comments
Are you making love the same way you have done for years?
Does your lover just love how you make love and really wants lots of sex?
I suggest if your sex life is boring then one tip is to develop more of a partner connection for hotter sex. I find the more connected I am with my partner the more fulfilling sex is.
One question I ask my clients is…
How often do you orgasm with your eyes open?
One way of deepening the intimacy with your partner connection is by having your eyes open more times during sex.
This deepens sexual intimacy and is very challenging for a lot of people who are not really connected during sex. Their bodies might connect but the connection of their spirit can be non existent.
However is you want to change your sex life you have to try different, somewhat fearful new behaviors.
Try opening your eyes and connecting with your partner. See if you can even have an orgasm when looking into your partners eyes! Its pretty hard to be unconnected with your eyes open looking at your lover.
One can kiss with eyes open and then move back a little to really look at your lover. Then move in for another kiss etc. Kissus interruptus!
The psychologist David Schnarch recommends a practice of sexual intimacy of hugging to relaxed.
Stand balanced on our own two feet. Put your arms around your partner. Focus on yourself and relax right down. Really relax. Take minutes or longer in the practice. As you settle down you can find you breath starts to go in time with each other and a connection develops.
I personally have found a few times that I can go in a energy orgasm in time with my lovers orgasms from this practice with no sex at all.
For more on how to improve your sex life see my free newsletters on Tantra and Yoni massage and Foreplay Ideas and Positions.
Maurice Tate is a qualified sexologist trained at the Advanced Institute of Sexology. He works with couples and individuals to explore altered sexual states and to deepen orgasms and pleasure during sex.
Techniques to Make a Woman Orgasm in 10 Seconds
Monday, September 29th, 2008 | Relationships | No Comments
A new sexuality survey done in Australia has shown what most women know and men fear is that unattached ladies have far more success achieving orgasm than those with a partner.
The study found that 56 percent of women with no current lover, could reach orgasm every time with masturbation, compared with only 24 percent of women with lovers.
One suggestion, from sexologists discussing this study, was that self loving allows women to “better connect with themselves” and the use of vibrators allows more intense stimulation.
Many other studies have shown that only 30% of all women get an orgasm through sexual intercourse.
So what does this suggest to all the men out there that have issues making their lover come easily? And what is a technique to make a women orgasm?
Firstly, having the focus on making sure your lover orgasms from intercourse is asking for problems. Having goals in sex takes us out of the pleasure of the present and into the future. Most women are very sensitive to where a mans attention is during the sexual act.
If she feels he is pushing her or is not accepting her for what she is, she could close down. As a result, the man could get a lot less sex.
One solution to the issue of how to give a woman an orgasm is to make use of vibrators in your sex life. The man can make sure his lover has some mega orgasms after intercourse. One can also use vibrators during intercourse.
There is a lot of fear about using a vibrator. And this is around the notion of what is “normal sex”.
As a sexologist, I suggest to women to let go of the idea of only having orgasms from a lover during intercourse. Men need to let go of being the sexual stud and giving a woman her orgasm every time from intercourse.
Instead, couples can bring a variety of sex toys into the bedroom. They’ll have a lot more fun as sex becomes more playful.There are many types of vibrators available in many shapes and colors.
I use a vibrator that was first used by Betty Dobson who worked with preorgasmic women some years ago.
Using this type of vibrator, most women come in 10 seconds or so. This is my technique to make a woman orgasm in 10 seconds. For more information see Discover Better Orgasms today.
Maurice Tate is a qualified sexologist trained at the Advanced Institute of Sexology. To improve your sexual relating and to really explore how to turn on your lover which is a lot easier than you think, visit About Sexuality and U. Great sex is your birthright!