divorce attorneys
Reviewing The Impact Of Infidelity
Sunday, June 28th, 2009 | Relationships | No Comments
Separation and divorce due to infidelity is one of the top reasons why people seek out a family lawyer. The other spouse cheated and it has wrecked the marriage. But it does more than just violate wedding vows. It can completely shake the bedrock of trust. The betrayed party will always wonder what it was that the other spouse was missing from their marriage. It can make an already difficult situation even worse. It is hard to get over and move past. Divorce attorneys see cheating as the number one reason why two people want to be rid of their marriage ties.
Infidelity in a marriage can be physical or it can be emotional. Many people would think that simply being emotionally involved with another person other than their spouse is not such a big thing. After all, it is not like there is physical or sexual contact involved. Right? But the reality is that it does hurt just as much and can destroy a marriage just as fast. It is a difficult thing to deal with. Cheating in any way is a good way to wind up with a separation and divorce.
Divorce court is not a great place to have to air dirty laundry about infidelities. Most judges do not look favorably on a cheating spouse. In some states it is grounds enough to be granted alimony. There are very few cases of uncontested divorces where a partner has been cheating. Most are very bitter affairs that often require the services of a divorce mediation professional in order to come to a peaceful agreement.
If your partner has cheated on you but you are not quite ready to call it quits, then you can still find marriage help. It will take a lot of work to get the marriage back on track but it can happen. It requires counseling to uncover the reasons why one spouse strayed from the marriage bed. There will be a lot of hurt feelings that have to be overcome and it is entirely possible that you can never let the incident(s) go and that divorce will happen regardless of your efforts to save the marriage.
The devastation of infidelity is almost instantaneous. Thoughts of self worth begin to weigh heavily because you want to know what it is about yourself that drove your husband/wife into the arms of another person. Can the marriage be saved? Perhaps, but many times divorce attorneys become involved because the infidelities are just too great to overcome. Once a partner cheats and the trust has been violated, things are never the same way again.
Going Separate Ways When It’s Time To Play
Saturday, October 25th, 2008 | Relationships | No Comments
There he goes again! He’s off to the baseball game with his friends while you sit home alone. He didn’t even ask if you would like to go. Of course, you always seem to be making plans with your girlfriends that exclude men. If these descriptions sound like your situation and you’re married, the chances are you are having marital problems related to feeling neglect. You didn’t get married just so you could cook dinner! You got married because you were sure you both would be great friends with common interests and goals.
When one spouse sees another developing a completely separate life from the marriage, it can be difficult to handle. When you are first married you just couldn’t wait to do so many things together. In most cases you probably weren’t even interested in playing without your spouse while a newly wed. But relationships change and people’s interests vary, and life is full of responsibility. Taking care of these responsibilities can lead to husbands and wives going their separate ways when it is time to have some fun. Someone has to watch the children for example and someone has to finish the chores this weekend and so on.
Spouses may also go their separate ways when they feel as if they have grown apart. When there is constant arguing or disagreement in the marriage, you really don’t feel like spending any more time with you spouse than you need to. Who wants to play with someone they are not getting along with? Unfortunately, the more you go your separate ways the more likely you are to end up divorced. You wake up one morning and realize the relationship is in real trouble.
Easy Solutions to the Problem
It is really not difficult to deal with the problem of never doing anything together. It’s amazing how many couples begin to live separate lives and then wonder where the love went! Keeping a marriage strong and healthy means you must act like an item and not two people just living under the same roof.
If you find you don’t want to spend time with your spouse when it’s time to play, then you should evaluate the problems in the marriage leading to these feelings. If there are unresolved anger issues then you should talk to your spouse and explore how to resolve them. Keeping the communication lines open in the marriage is crucial.
Of course, if you don’t spend play time together because of responsibilities, you need to approach the problem from a different angle. For example, if you have children it might not be possible to go out together. In that case you can find activities to do together at home or with the entire family.
There are many things you can do together that help to strengthen relationships and don’t require major life changes.
- Set aside a time to go out on a date together at least once or twice a month
- Pick an activity you can do frequently that doesn’t take much time such as walks around the block
- Invite joint friends over to your house for a BBQ or to watch a sports event
- Find at least one thing you can do together that interests you both such as going to a movie or the theatre
- Be spontaneous when possible and invite your spouse to the local outdoor concert in the park or to attend the local festival
Controlling the Circumstances
The point is to begin to play together on a regular basis. Chances are your spouse doesn’t understand how you are feeling if you have never expressed your frustration at failing to do anything together. Many times people don’t intentionally wish to ignore their spouse, but just get caught up in circumstances. For example, your friends call and want to play golf every Saturday and you’re too tired at the end of the day to take your wife out to dinner. She calls her friends and goes out to dinner without you.
Naturally if you are intentionally avoiding each other there are deeper issues to resolve. You can start by talking about your own feelings in a non-confrontational manner. In doing so there will be a chance to begin recognizing those similarities you once shared. If the marital problems are discouraging you from sharing play time then it is even more important that you set aside time to do some things together.
Because if you don’t make the effort it will end up in divorce